California-based author Lauren Peacock was still navigating her way through a divorce when she started writing her new memoir, Female. Likes Cheese. Comes with Dog.: Stories About Divorce, Dating, and Saying “I Do.” The book began as a journal and a way to process her thoughts and feelings, including the dating stories she would share with friends. Peacock’s memoir explores romance (with a side of humor), and she will be at Afterword Tavern and Shelves for a book reading and signing on February 17 from 1:00 to 3:00 p.m.
How did you find humor while navigating divorce?
Right at first, within the first month, nothing was funny. You’re mourning this loss. Even if you don’t have a hostile divorce, you’re still losing something you’ve built and nurtured for a long time. But it is true that time does heal, even though when people tell you that you just want to deck them in the face. Eventually, I was able to make jokes about my situation. Even though it was self-deprecating humor, it allowed me and others around me to laugh and see the light side of the situation.
How did it feel to start dating again?
There’s a line in my book, “I hadn’t dated since 1884,” and I was hilariously out of practice. With everything: flirting, having conversations, and even physical romance. I felt very awkward. It took me back to high school. It reminded me of the show Pen 15.
What I’ve observed from my close friends in the dating scene is that there is starting to be a lack of interest in dating apps and a yearning for better communication. I think most people can accept whatever the other person is looking for (long-term relationship, casual dating, or marriage), but it’s the contradiction or hypocrisy of it all. It’s important to be ourselves, even if we are a little vulnerable. It can still be very attractive.
Did you ever feel any pressure around being single?
When I was single, the most pressure I felt was, Will someone want to date me after I’ve been divorced? Am I damaged goods? Even though it’s 2024, and there are a lot of reasons why relationships don’t last, deep down, sometimes people can’t help but feel that maybe they aren’t chosen because of their past relationships, when it’s really about meeting the right person at the right time. Your timeline is your timeline.
Valentine’s Day vs. Galentine’s Day—which is more your style?
Is there a Solo-tines Day? I’ve spent a lot of amazing Valentine’s days by myself going out to a nice dinner or being away on a “Me” trip. I think spending time with yourself is one of the best things. Getting to know more about yourself, your interests, and self-care. However, if I had to pick between the two I would say Galentine’s—at the end of the day, a friend is going to be there through all the bumps in the road. Not that a partner won’t, but there are just certain things you can share with best friends.
What does your dream Galentine’s Day look like?
I would have it at home. I would invite a very select group of friends, who truly understand the art of a good cheese board. They could bring their dog if they had one. We would order wings. There would be a prize for whoever had the most stains on their sweatpants at the end of the night. We would play wine roulette and have a dance party. Honestly, I could probably do this every weekend.