In my early days of party-giving, I rejected the very idea of hosting a potluck dinner. I had boundless energy—Oh, how I miss it!—for cooking. My heroes were Julia Child and Martha Stewart and, like them, I wanted complete control of my dinner party menus. Boy, how things have changed.
These days, I like potluck gatherings with friends, easy and casual but treated as a proper dinner party—a set table! Candlelight! Wine!—with a focus on fellowship and conversation rather than five-star cuisine.
I was just reading how loneliness is an epidemic. The amount of time we spend interacting with others can be just as important as diet and exercise, says a Mayo Clinic physician. Enjoying any kind of meal with someone besides yourself can do much to combat feelings of loneliness. But there’s something so heartening about the camaraderie of a group dinner. Here are some ideas and guidance for hosting super-casual potluck gatherings.
You Make the Main, Others Bring Sides
In the cold months, it’s nice to make a pot of chili and a pan of cornbread. Or you could make something in the slow cooker, like beef stew, butter chicken, pork posole, or my spaghetti and meatballs for a crowd. Ina Garten’s baked rigatoni with lamb ragu is terrific, and a little more elegant. (Email me for these recipes, and any others mentioned herein). No one would judge you if you decided to blow off cooking altogether and served a lasagna or eggplant Parmesan from your favorite Italian restaurant, or even a chicken pot pie from Costco.
Once you have determined the main course, ask one friend to bring some cheese and crackers, another a side or salad, another dessert. Emphasize that store-bought is okay. In an age when everyone texts, it’s so easy to create a group text that becomes a virtual sign-up sheet. I’ve learned that people are thrilled to contribute a dish when you are doing the work of taking charge, inviting others, offering up your house. Know that if you invite someone and they can’t come, your invitation is still deeply appreciated.
Because Life is Messy
Don’t feel like your entire house needs to be on display when you have people over. Who needs that kind of stress? I have a friend who, when she entertains, puts a photo of a snarling Doberman Pinscher on her basement door. At my house, the second floor is seldom ready for the scrutiny of my neat-as-a-pin designer friends, and they know better than to wander upstairs. When I have people over during the winter, I focus on creating warmth and ambience—Music! Soft, low lighting! Good smells!—where the party is: in my kitchen, living room, and dining room. It’s nice but not necessary to have fresh flowers on your table and a few in your bathroom, too. Trapp and Company and The Little Flower Shop have beautiful, reasonably priced grab-and-go flowers.
A Potluck Buffet of Appetizers and Sweets
If you don’t want to do a sit-down dinner, you could ask everyone to bring an appetizer or a sweet. Who wouldn’t mind filling their plate with deviled eggs, ham and Swiss roll-ups, stuffed mushrooms, a few pickled shrimps, Triscuits topped with a smear of Boursin? As long as you have enough snacky things to constitute a real meal—you definitely need some protein—I would call that a fine dinner for friends. Ask a sweet-tooth friend or two to bring dessert to round things out. People can never resist a bowl of peanut M&Ms.
If You Do a Buffet
It might make sense to position your table so guests have access from both sides. Arrange things logically, remembering that people will have one hand with which to serve themselves. Station clean plates and cold items at the beginning of the line, hot things last. People deeply appreciate little signs that identify food or ingredients not easily recognizable.
If you’re doing more than just finger food, place silverware and napkins (cloth, and oversized, preferably) at the very end. For easier portability, roll a napkin around a fork and spoon; tie a pretty ribbon around it if you are so inclined. It’s thoughtful also to provide extra loose napkins.
But Wait! We Haven’t Talked About Booze Yet!
It always jollies things up to serve a pre-dinner cocktail, something simple, mind you. You could assign some darling person the task of bringing the ingredients, mixing a pitcher, and serving it to guests. The negroni is popular, as are the gimlet and the Moscow mule. I would never say no to a homemade whiskey sour or an Aperol spritz. (I have batch recipes for these drinks. All have only three ingredients, not counting garnish.) You’ll want to collaborate with your drink bringer about appropriate glassware for your chosen drink. And ask that they arrive a few minutes early to get those drinks rolling before guests arrive.
A Little Guidance for Guests
If you make a dish to bring, be a doll and prepare everything, and I mean everything, at home. You don’t want to be underfoot in your host’s kitchen. Call ahead to ascertain freezer, fridge, oven, or burner space if you’re bringing something that needs to be served icy cold or piping hot.
If you are bringing something store-bought—I will underscore this is perfectly acceptable for a casual potluck dinner—place it on a pretty platter or bowl with a fresh garnish like mint, rosemary, Italian parsley, or chopped chives. It’s less about what you’re serving and more about how it’s presented, so make it look beautiful!
A Moveable Feast
A Moveable FeastFour marvelously portable appetizers
• A wheel of triple-crème Brie, served with apricot chutney and Wasa crackers.
• Jalapeño-cheddar frittata squares*
• Fiesta pickled shrimp, served in a deep platter*
• Sugared bacon*
*Email me for the recipes!