On a home tour recently, I saw an estate that was so huge, so dazzling, so lavishly yet tastefully appointed, so perfect for party-giving, I wanted to go home, pour gasoline on my house and set it alight. I had a conversation later with a woman who’d been on the same tour; she joked that seeing this house had plunged her and her friends into clinical depression. Why, friends, do we do this? Why can’t we appreciate without measuring ours against theirs? “Comparison,” said Teddy Roosevelt, “is the thief of joy.” I would add that it could be the thief of party-giving, e.g. I’m not going to have people over until my house is tour-worthy. Here’s some nickel advice: focus on what you do have. In my case, I have working bathrooms, a round dining table that squeezes ten, a cozy living room, a serviceable kitchen, a rockin’ sound system, a well-stocked bar, and a nice deck.
If it’s perfect, everyone will hate you. No one expects you to put on a home-cooked feast. Concentrate on assembling a convivial group, creating a welcoming atmosphere (music! booze! good smells!) and having maybe one spectacular menu item. Give yourself permission to serve takeout or store-bought food, and to let guests bring something when they offer.
You’re a host, not a bartender. Craft cocktails—in which every element is fussily handmade—are all the rage in Kansas City’s bars and restaurants. Which is where they should stay. The busy home host should not be expected to be a mixologist on top of everything else. Realistically, all you need to serve cocktails to a merry group is the makings for gin and tonics, vodka sodas, rum and cokes, some red and white wine and, depending on the crowd, beer. Oh, and at least a pound of ice per person.
Elaborate appies are a waste of time. Don’t spend a lot of time on a complicated appetizer to serve with cocktails before a dinner party. People are too busy talking and drinking, at that point, to pay much attention to your fancy canapes. But you definitely need a little something savory to soak up the booze. I like good cheeses and crackers served on a pretty tray.
The Stroud’s solution. I’ve been on a Stroud’s jag of late. Pan-fried chicken is a swell entrée for a casual dinner party, and Stroud’s can make it better than you, trust me. Order dinner at your leisure then have it delivered via Door Dash or Uber Eats. For a group of eight, order four regular chicken dinners (each serves two very generously) and—this is important—tell them to pack it in bulk. You’ll get salad, green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy, and those killer cinnamon rolls. Transfer everything to your prettiest serving dishes and present it buffet style. If you’re of a mind to cook, I have five tried-and-true dinner party entrée recipes (with serving suggestions) I will happily email you.
This pie, it’s to die. If you’ve come to dinner at my house lately, for dessert you’ve had pie from Ashleigh’s Bake Shop, located inside Pryde’s Kitchen & Necessities at 115 Westport Road. Ashleigh bakes all her pies fresh every morning (Thursday, Friday, and Saturday only, Wednesdays by special request). My favorites are the peanut butter pie (you will weep) and the raspberry rhubarb pie. A whole, fresh pie will set you back about thirty bucks.
Easy Does It
St. George’s Terroir Gin tastes heavenly, and the bottle makes any bar look hip. Have your featured summer cocktail be a St. George’s Gin with a wildly overpriced, artisanal tonic water, such as Fever Tree. Serve in a handsome rocks glass, garnish with rosemary sprigs or sage leaves. Craft cocktailish.
If you want to make a pitcher of something, mix two parts of Simply Lemonade with one-part citron vodka and a splash of limoncello. Pour over ice in a tall glass, garnish with a thin slice of lemon and a basil leaf. Matching handcut crystal and pewter highball glass, $92, and bar pitcher, $275, at UrBana.
Since you didn’t cook, you’ll have had plenty of time to set a lovely table with gorgeous fresh flowers. Transfer everything to your prettiest serving dishes and present it buffet style. Hand-painted Portuguese platter, $98, at Homesong Market.
Cambozola with water crackers or extra-aged Gouda with (back off, food snobs) original Triscuits are an easy and appreciated appetizer. Cambozola and Gouda are sold at The Better Cheddar.
Place cards for groups of six or more—for even the most casual dinner—are a must, because people appreciate knowing where to sit. Seat people boy girl boy girl, not next to their spouses. Heirloom name card holders, $49.95 for set of four, available in silver or brass at William Sonoma.
Check out Ashleigh’s Bake Shop at Pryde’s. With Ashleigh’s so nearby, I shall never again trouble myself to make dessert, except possibly my famous (if I do say so myself) Buena Vista Coconut Cake, which I can make in my sleep. I’m tired of making it, but you’re most welcome to. Find the recipe below.
Buena Vista Coconut Cake
My most requested dessert. It’s a doctored-up cake mix, but no one will know.
Cake
- 1 box (15.25–ounce) Betty Crocker Super Moist yellow cake mix
- 3 eggs
- 1 cup whole milk
- 1/2 cup vegetable oil
Frosting
- 2 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream
- 1 1/2 cups sour cream
- 1 1/4 cups powdered sugar or to taste
- 17-ounce can or bag Baker’s sweetened coconut
Prepare cake according to package directions, substituting whole milk for water. Bake, as directed in two round cake pans. Cool and cut each layer in half, making four thin layers. Prepare frosting by whipping heavy cream and sour cream together until soft peaks form. (A stand mixer is best for this job.) Gradually beat in sugar, then stir in most of the coconut, reserving about a third cup. Liberally frost top of each layer, stack and frost sides. Sprinkle reserved coconut over top. Serves 12.
(Can be made a day ahead; refrigerate then bring to room temperature to serve.)
Note: you might have too much frosting, but better too much than not enough!